Day 5 - 6/27/21 - Sun.

Actual Journal Entry:

“One business weekend, it seems like an eternity. That’s my last mention of the snail-like passage of time in the SHU. One of the interesting things about the lovely view of the gigantic brick wall just outside the tiny slit of a window here in SHU Room #203 (I think) is these odd salt/chalk formations under some of the vents & cracks in the wall/bricks. Today is the first day I’m measuring one of them to try to tell if it’s increasing. The fun things we do here at the SHU. Must mean something. After a boring breakfast cereal, which I passed on, again. We had an excellent Brunch—excellent in SHU terms. Scrambled eggs (more than yesterday), re-cooked hash browns, and very good French toast. I cleaned the entire tray, the first time since my arrival. We had a good dinner too, but I can’t remember what it was as I write this.”

Notes for Day 5 (Four Years Later)

I still don't even know what I meant by "One Business Weekend." Wrong drugs, lack of sleep, stress—something caused me to write random stuff in this early SHU journal.

Another thing I started doing by Day 5 was becoming obsessed with the substances that seemed to be leaking out of the cracks in the bricks, maybe twenty feet from our window. As mentioned in the entry, I tried to figure out a way to "measure" the leaking substance. Then my mind started wandering: what would happen if the world outside collapsed? Would the guards let us out? That would be a big NO. Would they just kill us? I doubted they would take the time. Most would probably just try to get home to their families. That would mean we'd have to fend for ourselves or starve to death. That's when I started thinking of ways to escape—probably through the venting system or maybe the plumbing. The shower had some possibilities.

I kept this little game to myself for a while, and then late one night, just before falling asleep (E on the top bunk and me on the bottom, because, you know, my leg), I finally said, "E, do you ever think about if the world came to an end and we had to try to get out of here?" He got pissed. "Jesus, no, why would you say something like that?"

I couldn't help it; that's just the way my mind works. He eventually got over his anger, and we spent the rest of the night discussing our emergency escape plans. The things you think about in prison…

This raw pencil sketch, made with what little I had, captures my view from SHU Room #203. It's not art, but a direct glimpse into the confinement that shaped my thoughts and sparked my 'measurements.'