Day 21 - 7/13/21 - Tues.
- mainemoviepirate
- Jul 12
- 4 min read
Actual Journal Entry:
“More sleep than usual; trying to work my old Zen traits into the mix. I’m a little rusty, but this place might be the best spot to practice. Just like that TV show, Life, I hope my story ends the same. I have to leave my old life behind and focus on my new life. I’ve done it physically; now, to do it mentally and emotionally. Easier said than done. The Old World will keep spinning, and sht will go down—sht I can do nothing about. Just a fact. Give me strength.
BREAKFAST: Same as the last twenty days. Ate some.
I was working on Null when a random CO came to my window and asked me, “Hey Gordon, how did you get upstairs?” “I hopped.” I wonder what will happen next. I’ve just been told to hold my piss because I’m going to have a piss test. I wonder what that means, if anything. I guess I’ll find out when I ‘need to know.’ I started pounding the water down.
LUNCH: Pieces of breaded chicken, rice, beans, and for the first time, ranch salad dressing. This is a big deal. I ate it all. Saved the roll. Hey, this gives me an idea:
BOOK IDEA: ‘How to Eat like a Prison Inmate on 60 Cents a Day!’ A recipe book that recreates the gourmet dishes we have here at the SHU, and as a bonus, includes other recipes of the home cooking the inmates do. (Once I learn them.) Half Joke/Half Real Book. (Post Prison Project.) (More later.)
Salt-n-Pepper from China True Count, NY, NY
Winston Tartar Sauce, NY, NY
Salad Dressing (Ranch), Four to One, Chelmsford, MA
Mustard, Four to One, San Jose, CA
Ketchup (Americana Brand), Portion Pac, Madison, OH
Instant Coffee, Corim Industries, Lynfield, MA
Sugar Substitute, CCI, Brick, NJ Lemonade Mix, CCI, Brick, NJ
KINDLE/KINDLE Vella Idea: Rework Dark Justice/Outer Justice as a Kindle Book (Dark Justice), then rework Outer Justice as a Kindle Vella Series. If that is still a thing when I get off Forced Vacation. [Note: Looks like I called that right; Kindle Vella was defunct by February 2025.] If Vella is dead, write as a series of Kindle books. Just write a f*ck-load of stories with a TV show format always in mind. Like one Kindle book equals an episode. Mostly a sci-fi anthology with a court setting and regular characters as wrap-arounds. As it develops, longer arcs of the continuing storylines with the regular cast. Dark Justice is the prequel that takes place on Earth and is the origin story of Judge Dark.
Got a letter from Mom; looks like she sent it out on Saturday. Letters from home and emails/phone calls when they start will be a constant reminder of the Old World. I mean, I like getting and reading them, don’t get me wrong. Separating the Old World—This World—New World thing is how I’m going to get through this. I hope I can handle it.
Worked on Null and read. Was told today that Commissary was changed to Tuesday (Today). You have to get your paper in the day before. Sigh. A price I pay for being in Solitary, I guess. I want to make a goal list of things to do at Camp. Maybe Tomorrow.
SUPPER: A gross-looking (and tasting) glob of hamburger-like substance with gravy. A roll. Hash browns, creamed corn. I ate it all. Been saying that a lot lately. It’s pretty bad when the creamed corn is the best thing on the tray. I wouldn’t touch that stuff in the Old World.
My goal for this evening is to fall asleep early and get a solid night’s sleep. The only thoughts will be of Null as I plan on finishing a storyline in the AM. Night.”
Notes for Day 21 (Four Years Later)
This was the first time I talked about Zen in my journal, something I practiced years ago. The short-lived TV show, Life, with Damian Lewis, had quite an impact on me. The plot was about a former cop, framed and sentenced to life in prison, who gets out after twenty years and, of course, becomes a cop again. But I liked it because he survived prison by practicing Zen. So, I started studying Zen Philosophy, having no idea that someday I would be in prison and could use a little Zen myself. Whatever works.
The "Old World – This World – New World" mindset was discussed a bit in this entry, and the more I think about it, the more I realize that practice is very Zen-like. I wonder if I even realized I was doing it, trying to talk myself into focusing everything in that way. All that matters is the here and now, no matter where you are.
The Prison Cookbook idea: I was quite excited about this when I was in that world, especially the title. But once I was in the Camp and noticed how many prison cookbooks there were, I got less excited. Of all my writing ideas documented in these journals, I doubt I’ll ever pursue that one. Also, I was never really into prison cooking myself; plenty of inmates were, and some were fantastic at it. The things they could make with practically nothing were incredible. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Prisoner Cheesecake—and if you haven’t, I hope you never do!
Lastly, this is the first mention of Dark Justice/Outer Justice, originally conceived years ago. When I became a "guest" of the Justice Department, I started thinking about this concept again. I wrote quite a bit on it while incarcerated and will be organizing them as Kindle Books in the near future. Dark Justice is a hard action/sci-fi thriller, and the sequel, Outer Justice, is like a fantasy/space epic that is ongoing. If I could compare them to something famous, I would say Dark Justice is like Blade Runner, and Outer Justice is more like Star Trek/Star Wars. Which is pretty much the same thing anyway, right? ;)
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