Day 12 - 7/4/21 - Sunday

I know this isn't exactly a typical 'Fourth of July in Prison' picture. But in a very real sense, it is. This is a page I was working on when the rest of the USA was enjoying fireworks and freedom. To understand what it was like for us, imagine having to stare at a government cover page like this and try to conjure a big fireworks display in the background.

Cherish your freedom, every single day.

Actual Journal Entry:

“FOURTH OF JULY. My first one incarcerated (man, I struggle with the spelling of this word) (I miss spellchecker). Decent night’s sleep. Mixed feelings about the 4th; I still miss all the same things, but the feeling is getting diluted. I wonder what it means. Hmmm. Standard cereal breakfast with a bonus 4th of July Cinnamon bun. Bring the fireworks to my soul! Special holiday lunch wasn’t that special. Big Hot Dog (pretty good), shredded BBQ chicken (seems like we’ve had this 1,000 times in the last 12 days), beans, mac salad, gross ice cream-like substance, & a picnic style sandwich (still frozen) for, I assume, supper. I ate a little of all of it. Happy 4th!

I can’t think of a better place to be to celebrate Independence (sp?), freedom, and liberty. Welcome to America 2021! Still kind of an overcast day, inside & outside. I accidentally hit the emergency call button today with my elbow trying to balance myself against the wall. The CO wasn’t too happy, but he didn’t really say much when I told him I hit it by accident.

Whenever I get out of here, I’m going to live life to its fullest. The last six years have been covered in a shadow of this Copyright Nonsense. First Mike and now this stupidity. Nothing and no one is going to keep me from making the most of every single day I am on this planet.

Got supplies! I scored another SHU pen and more paper; life is good for the moment at SHU room 203. Started reading two new books: Dream with No Name, a book of short stories from Cuba. ‘E’ picked it off the book cart but gave up on it shortly after starting it. The stories have been mixed so far. And The Twilight Zone Companion, which I think I’ve read before, and I may still have a copy back in my old life. The TZ book is missing pages.

From the HALLWAY: ‘Once they get you behind this locked door, they don’t have to listen to what you have to say.’

Traded in the Michael Crichton Spanish Pirate book for Game of Thrones Book 3, but whatever. I’ll read it later if I’m still here next weekend. Almost dark; I doubt I can see any fireworks. Don’t know what the big deal is; there were plenty of 4ths I went to bed early, like last year, I think. Fireworks are really what I’m missing :(

Story Idea from 7/3-7/4: Setting: USA Time: Tomorrow or close to it. The country is a crumbling disaster, but the corporate-owned media portrays bright, sunny times in the USA because the corporate-owned President is up for re-election, and he or she is doing a great job, the media says. There is a radical group called the ‘Openers’ (maybe; I get the concept but not a sexy name), who secretly hack into some of the bigger news stories. Before they broadcast/stream, the Openers send their crews to film real versions of the stories. Then, once broadcast, they hack the signal and show their version of the story. The Openers have done this many, many times, and law enforcement cannot catch or stop them. There are several players, some betrayers, working on the real story. The Openers are a group of mostly renegade journalists, convicts, and other outcasts of society. They are bankrolled by the mysterious Deven Fortuna, a billionaire philanthropist, reclusive inventor, investor, and winner of the first Trillion-dollar Jackpot lottery. So the Openers have plenty of resources—not as many as the U.S. Government, but plenty. Rumor has it, Fortuna is considering a presidential run at the next election. Two problems: He has not been seen in public for five years, and there are at least a dozen federal investigations against him. Fortuna is also a proponent/originator of the anti-corporation bills that are starting to surface. The other key members: [Far as I got]”

Notes for Day 12 (Four Years Later)

This entry, being the first major holiday of my incarceration and one of my favorite holidays, ended up being a strange one, with me mostly talking about books and stories. I suppose I was trying to keep my mind off what was happening in the real world and what I was missing. Mostly successful. I felt bad for ‘E’ because he hadn't seen real fireworks in fifteen years or more.

Let’s start at the end of this long entry, with the untitled story idea. This is significant because it was the most creative writing I had done since coming in. However, I never did anything else with it, and I don’t remember where I was going with the story. It almost feels like I was fantasizing more about fixing the government and pulling down corporations than anything else. I am a very anti-corporate person, but I am not into overthrowing the government or revolution in reality. It just can be a good foundation for fiction and drama. I have started several projects with the same themes; maybe someday I’ll finish one. I do like the idea of Deven Fortuna, though. A supervillain/anti-hero who was created by winning a mega lottery jackpot—fascinating.

In the book department: the book of Cuban short stories actually had some good and interesting tales. One of them—I can’t remember the name—was so ridiculous and over-the-top, but it actually worked. That story inspired me to write my own "whacked" piece called The Man Who Loved to Die, which I finished and plan on publishing someday. I will talk about it more in the entry notes when it appears; I completed it while in the SHU, during my period of heavy creative output.

The Twilight Zone Companion was interesting, and even though I’ve seen all the episodes half a dozen times, reading the synopsis of each episode and looking at the black-and-white stills was like rewatching all those classic shows one more time. Especially in a place where we had no television in sight.

Holidays, and this first one for me was no exception, are especially depressing for many in prison. While the pain does lessen over time, it never quite feels right on these days—part of the punishment aspect, I suppose. Still, as the sun went down, I remember hoping and peering up against that tiny slot of window, trying to see even glimmering lights in the sky, a spark of freedom the rest of the country was celebrating.

#4thofJuly #prison #twilightzone